As some of you know, it has been my intention to mimic a finish carpenter, by attempting to trim replaceme
nt windows in my humble abode. However, I have run into a troublesome, even vexing, reality. I was under the illusion that walls were plumb, openings square, and surfaces level. Unfortunately, this is not the case. While the person who framed my house may have been well-meaning in his pursuit, he should be arrested for fraudulent claims of carpentry skills. For example, studs have intentionally been left out of walls, walls are not square, and floor joist spans are excessive.
nt windows in my humble abode. However, I have run into a troublesome, even vexing, reality. I was under the illusion that walls were plumb, openings square, and surfaces level. Unfortunately, this is not the case. While the person who framed my house may have been well-meaning in his pursuit, he should be arrested for fraudulent claims of carpentry skills. For example, studs have intentionally been left out of walls, walls are not square, and floor joist spans are excessive. So it is, in this imperfect world, I have endeavored to place the proverbial diamond
in the pig’s snout, and thereby cover the sins of the framers and sheet rock-ers that came before me. Having now come full circle by trimming said windows, I can say, with all due respect, trim/finish carpenters are truly a skilled lot; for they make beauty out of ashes, and order from disorder. And their secret special sauce is the humble shim, AKA wedges. USE THEM FREELY.
in the pig’s snout, and thereby cover the sins of the framers and sheet rock-ers that came before me. Having now come full circle by trimming said windows, I can say, with all due respect, trim/finish carpenters are truly a skilled lot; for they make beauty out of ashes, and order from disorder. And their secret special sauce is the humble shim, AKA wedges. USE THEM FREELY.Tool of the week: In the fabrication of window trim, my pick for tool of the week is the Lie-Nielsen Boggs Concave Spokeshave. This tool is a good example of an American-made quality product, and will dress the concavity of arches all day long. It’s all in the wrist.
Story of yore: During my illustrious stint in Key West, under the direct supervision of the U.S. Navy, I began hunting fish with spear guns. One memorable fishing episode occurred in what were affectionately known as the “sub pits”. These were deep channels cut into the rock, which allowed submarines to submerge during hurricanes. While thousands of feet long, they were probably approx. 70’ wide and 40’ deep, (if memory serves). On this particular day, with shiny new spear gun in hand and a boldness in my step, I was hunting solo for the tasty Caribbean grouper. Confident in my prowess as said hunter, I slowly descended into the murky depths. And lo and behold, to my delight, a grouper of quite large proportion, appeared on my radar as the perfect prey. Seconds before launching my spear, I realized that I had misidentified the beast. The grouper somehow morphed into the top predator known as the barracuda, a fish with a nasty disposition and rather large teeth. At that point, there was a moment of indecision as to what my subsequent move would be. My choices were as follows: Fire the spear into the back of his head and risk attack, realizing that we would be tethered together 25’ below surface; or remembering that discretion can be the better part of valor, allow each of us to go our separate ways unscathed. At the time, choice number two seemed to be the more intuitive and logical option. So I retreated to the surface, regained my mental footing, and looked elsewhere for the illusive grouper. During the ensuing years, I often wondered what would have happened had I cast caution to the wind and pulled the trigger.
Story of yore: During my illustrious stint in Key West, under the direct supervision of the U.S. Navy, I began hunting fish with spear guns. One memorable fishing episode occurred in what were affectionately known as the “sub pits”. These were deep channels cut into the rock, which allowed submarines to submerge during hurricanes. While thousands of feet long, they were probably approx. 70’ wide and 40’ deep, (if memory serves). On this particular day, with shiny new spear gun in hand and a boldness in my step, I was hunting solo for the tasty Caribbean grouper. Confident in my prowess as said hunter, I slowly descended into the murky depths. And lo and behold, to my delight, a grouper of quite large proportion, appeared on my radar as the perfect prey. Seconds before launching my spear, I realized that I had misidentified the beast. The grouper somehow morphed into the top predator known as the barracuda, a fish with a nasty disposition and rather large teeth. At that point, there was a moment of indecision as to what my subsequent move would be. My choices were as follows: Fire the spear into the back of his head and risk attack, realizing that we would be tethered together 25’ below surface; or remembering that discretion can be the better part of valor, allow each of us to go our separate ways unscathed. At the time, choice number two seemed to be the more intuitive and logical option. So I retreated to the surface, regained my mental footing, and looked elsewhere for the illusive grouper. During the ensuing years, I often wondered what would have happened had I cast caution to the wind and pulled the trigger.
THE HACK
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