To the brotherhood of the annual ring: Greetings! Some like it slow growth… some like it old growth… some like it quarter-sawn… some prefer plain-sawn… and those in-between like it riff-sawn.
By a show of hands, how many of you, in times past, have entered your shop only to find that things were amiss? In my experience, I have found tools misplaced. Tools out-and-out missing. Machine set-ups askew. Foggy fractional thinking. Difficulty in seeing the big picture, etc. etc. etc… May I forward a hypothesis for your consideration: I believe this could only be the work of the paranormal. The perpetrator can be none other than the common Wood Gnome. A mythical creature, who lives to disrupt our production of furniture, cabinets, etc… A terrestrial-biological entity whose very presence is embroiled in controversy. His existence is on par with the Chupacabra and the Sasquatch. In fact, many scholars contend that the Wood Gnome is actually the illegitimate child of the former. So remember, the next time your chop saw is off by a degree or two, don’t believe it an accident. Lay the blame directly at the foot of the pernicious Wood Gnome, who lives and breathes chaos in the workshop.
P.S. My router table is still in its infancy. I purchased the plywood today and am planning to begin construction post-haste. I will keep you informed. Btw, please overlook the insidious ritual of the cliché. It is a necessary evil.
THE HACK
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